Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Here are a few cute, Winter-themed Hilda pin-ups for you!

DOTW

It is my distinct pleasure to bestow the very first DOTW honor to Pennsylvania attorney, Karl Rominger. 

Rominger is representing Jerry Sandusky.  In a recent interview, Rominger explained Sandusky's presence in the showers with young men as follows:

“Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.”

Here is video of the interview at The Blaze:  Rominger Interview.

Perhaps these troubled youth were also struggling to understand the definitions of  "pedophilia," "fellatio," and "sodomy" as well.  One could argue that Sandusky was merely helping them to broaden their sadly lacking vocabularies by showing them what the words meant. 

Congrats, Karl!  I sure hope the money is worth it.

If you make it, I will buy

I was just Christmas shopping for my kids and trying to find Legos that would interest my daughter.  She's not into Harry Potter, Star Wars, Ninjago or reptiles.  All of the themed sets are definitively "male."  Yeah, I can give her a regular set (which I have already done), but it's not as cool as the Harry Potter set her brother is getting.  Starting in 2012, Lego is going to release a line of blocks geared specifically toward girls.   They are going to be called Friends.   Not the most exciting title ever, but I'll take it.  Here are a few pictures of the products.

It looks like they got some feminists working up in there! 

Big Announcement

I make two commitments to you, gentle reader. My first commitment is to complain incessantly.   The second is to uphold the highest standards of class and taste.  It is with these core principles in mind that I bring you a new Contrary Godmother tradition.  Every Friday, I'll highlight one individual who particularly offends my delicate female sensibilities.  This lucky person will be granted the honorary title of:

Pretty snazzy graphic, eh?   So who do you think should be our inaugural DOTW?

T and A PSA

I'm not sure if I can play along with this one.  Check out these "public service announcements"  <<nudge-nudge, wink-wink>> brought to you by Mozambique.

Apparently the text (as if anyone is going to read it) says: "When we talk about breast cancer, there's no women or superwomen. Everybody has to do the self-examination monthly. Fight with us against the enemy and, when in doubt, talk with your doctor."

I can't.  I refuse to even pretend to believe that these ads might have made for the benefit of women.    It would have been more honest if these were ads for testicular self-examination.

Vintage Ad: Girl, please! How you gonna sit on my couch knitting in them raggedy-ass stockings?

Honey, I think that we have bigger problems here.  If your husband is the sort of fancy, fancy man who worries his metrosexual little head about the perfection of your stockings, there are other problems in the relationship.  Is he pissy because they won't be nice when he wants to wear them or is he just a dick?  Either way, girl, Lux ain't fixin' the problem.

In "Turning-Into-My-Mother" News

I can admit that I am not stylish, and I don't always "get" fashion, but holy shit, I could not put together an uglier outfit if I tried.  Who, exactly, is going to click on that and buy high-waisted baby-diarrhea green spandex pants and a cardigan that looks like something a morbidly obese elementary school librarian was wearing in 1984? WTF?  How about some deep conditioner and a comb, while you are at it? 

The Voice of The Mother in me is screaming: "You're such a pretty girl!  If you'd just brush your hair and not dress like that... "

It's Hard Out There for a Sorcerer

On Monday, Saudi Arabia beheaded Amina bint Abdulhalim Nassar.  She was found guilty of practicing sorcery.  Yes, sorcery.  In Saudi Arabia they like to party like it's 1692.  She was arrested by the religious police after claiming to be able to heal the sick.  She was apparently charging people $800 to do so.  So at worst this woman was a scam artist.  Maybe she really thought she could heal people, who knows?

What I do know is that Saudi Arabia is a tough place to be a woman.  In 2006, the Saudi Labor Minister, Ghazi Al-Qusaibi, said the following:

"...therefore no woman will be employed without the explicit consent of her guardian. We will also make sure that the [woman's] job will not interfere with her work at home with her family, or with her eternal duty of raising her children..."

 So, let's say you are a woman and you need money for some reason.  There's a 30% chance you are illiterate, you may have been married off as early as age nine, you have only limited property rights, you aren't allowed to drive, and you are basically at the mercy of your closest male relative.  Yeah, think about that.  You could be completely under the control of your dickhole brother.  Sweet!  So, anyway, you need some money.  What are your freaking options?  Running a little hustle is kind of understandable under these circumstances. 

It certainly makes me grateful to live where and when I do.

You can read the full story on the Telegraph here.

Happy Halloween!

Yours truly is out having a fabulous time on a Halloween-themed vacay.  But here are some gorgeous vintage Halloween postcards.  Someday I am going to get around to making something out of these, but in the mean time I hope you enjoy them!

Halloween Pin-Ups

It is getting close to Halloween, my absolute favorite holiday.  Here are a few vintage Halloween pin-up girls. 

 

Betty Grable, 1940s

I can't find her name, but she is adorable. 

This is Paulette Goddard.  She was Miss Halloween, 1939.

Dead Sexy

Gimme a W!  Gimme a T!  Gimme an F!  

Lidner is a Polish coffin company.  This is the cover of their 2012 calendar.  This is the third year that they have published a sexy lady calendar to help sell their wares.   I know when I think about being dead, and having my lifeless corpse lowered into the ground, I definitely think about naked ladies with boob jobs.  So, yeah, whatever.

You might have noticed that the image above merely shows a naked lady.  There is no degradation or violence.  So, technically speaking, it's not pornographic.  Don't worry though, Lidner ups the ante with some of the images on the inside of the calendar.

Sexualization of violence against women?  Check!

Good job with that advertising campaign!   I think somebody deserves a raise!

Skanky Barbie? Oh, I'll give you Skanky Barbie.

 

This is tokidoki Barbie.  She is quite the controversial little doll these days.  All the blogs and news shows are talking about her.  Honestly, I don't get it. Yeah, she has some tattoos.  Do I want my five year old to have tattoos?  Nope.  I gotta say I'm not too worried that she is going to take off on her big wheel and get tatted up.  I am a lot more worried that she'll decide that she needs big boobs, a tiny waist and foot-killing-stilettos of death to be okay.  

This morning I heard the radio show host Bill Bennett call her Skanky Barbie.  Seriously, "Dr." Bill?  Skanky implies not only low-class but also sluttiness.   Is she a whore because she has tattoos?  Or is it the pink hair?  I'm confused, because a lot of Barbies get sold every year that look like outright prostitutes, and there are no news stories about them.  Check out this Barbie that I bought at Toys 'R Us for my psych of women course.

My scene Barbie?  What exactly is your scene?  Street corners and stripper poles?

So, lay the hell off of tokidoki Barbie because of the tattoos.  At least she's fully dressed.  Let's focus on the bigger problems with Barbie.   

P.S.
Love the pink hair, bitch!

It's Halloween! Is your daughter going to be a princess or a stripper?

Halloween season is definitely in full swing!  I am trying to figure out how in the hell to make my son the Shark Boy costume he wants to wear (apparently nobody sells Shark Boy costumes), and am shopping for just the right princess dress for my daughter.  My daughter, a princess?  Yep.  Isn't that a bit gender stereotyped?  Yep.  Every year since she's been able to pick, she's chosen a princess gown.  She's been a snow princess, a purple princess, and last year I made a drag-queen worthy silver princess dress out of an old silk nightgown and a whole lot of rhinestones.  

So, while I am letting my kid dress up like a princess, apparently a lot of other moms are letting their kids dress up in mini-versions of adult hoochie-mama Halloween costumes. 

I'm not sure who Lagoona Blue is, but based on the photo below I'm guessing she is a workin' lady.  Check on the hooker shoes on this girl:

Surely I am not the only one who thinks that it is not cool to let little kids play sexy dress-up for Halloween?  

A Little Hilda for Your Monday

So it's Monday.  We've got that going for us, right?  Here's a little Hilda to get your week off to a good start.

Plumbing can be fun?  Really?

Oh, Japan!

So apparently in Japan, women spend money to have cosmetic dental procedures to have their teeth look like this:

In Japan, this crooked, exaggerated canine look is called yaeba, and it's considered cute and desirable.   In the US, we call that a jacked up grill, and we spend lots of money so that our teeth don't look like that.   Apparently, this particular pattern of crooked teeth is somewhat common in Japan, and the Japanese have decided to embrace it instead of striving for perfectly straight teeth like we do in the States.  That's actually rather nice, although it sucks that women with straight teeth are having false yaeba applied.  It's just further proof that beauty standards are arbitrary as hell.

Let's just hope that the Brits don't do something similar.  

Black Pin-Up Girls

So, I recently posted about chubby pin-up girls, and even pin-up boys.  I realized that I have never seen a Black pin-up girl.  Surely they exist, right?  Turns out, not so much.   I have spent more time that I want to admit over the last few days trying to dig up some beautiful pin-up art.  I am left empty-handed and kind of pissed off.  Surely someone has a box of old 1940s pin-ups sitting in an attic or closet waiting to be rediscovered.  I refuse to believe that this is such a crazy concept that it was never done.

Despite failing to find pin-ups, I did find some very lovely photographs of Dorothy Dandridge, Josephine Baker, and Joyce Bryant.  

Dorothy Dandridge

Joyce Bryant

Josephine Baker

Although these photos are beautiful, it strikes me as odd that I can't find any vintage pin-ups or more recent pin-ups that are done by an actual artist.    What gives, internet?  

Dinner at the Crackington House

I found this picture in an ad I got in the mail from a local grocery store today.    Have you ever seen a more cracktastic spread? 

Billy:  "Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"

Mom:  "Pepperoni pizza, orange juice, a basket of whole-wheat bread, some cocktail shrimp and a big bowl of raw hot peppers."

Billy: "Cool, I like pizza. Wait, what?  A bowl full of raw..."

Mom:  "Yeah!  A bowl full of hot peppers.  Is there a problem with that?  Do I look like Paula-fucking-Dean to you?" 

Billy:  "Uhhh...  DAAAD!  I think Mom stopped taking her medication again!"

Mom:  "Your father?  You're calling him to help? Ha!  Oh, you are just like him.  So judgemental.  Nothing is ever enough.  I even spent the whole damn afternoon rolling up lunch meat JUST LIKE YOU LIKE IT  Oh, and I threw on some olives.  OLIVES, dammit.  And DIP!  Creamy-orange dip, because MOMMY LOVES YOU."

Toilet Tissue Couture

Have you ever been to a bridal shower and played that awful game where you make a bridal dress out of a roll of toilet paper?  No?  Wow, you must run with a classier group of friends.  Anyway, White Cashmere is a Canadian toilet paper company that sponsored some kind of contest for designers to make gowns completely out of their toilet paper. Proceeds from the fashion show benefited the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. 

These are made entirely from toilet paper.  I'm going to assume that they had access to bigger sheets of it than what you get on a standard roll, but I am still amazed.  

 

Apparently this is made of hundreds of little rosettes of toilet paper. 

Aren't you proud of me?  The combination of Canadians and toilet paper could have made for all sorts of smart-assery on my part, but I resisted.