Well said...

Vintage Ad: Girl, please! How you gonna sit on my couch knitting in them raggedy-ass stockings?

Honey, I think that we have bigger problems here.  If your husband is the sort of fancy, fancy man who worries his metrosexual little head about the perfection of your stockings, there are other problems in the relationship.  Is he pissy because they won't be nice when he wants to wear them or is he just a dick?  Either way, girl, Lux ain't fixin' the problem.