Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day: Old West Hooker Girl!

Clearly I am missing something.  Maybe I am not smart enough to figure out the vocabulary words being used to describe this Halloween costume.    The word tween means in someone who is between a child and a teenager, right?  So, I'm thinking like 10, 11 or 12 year-olds.  Am I totally off base with this?

Now, a saloon girl is an old west prostitute, isn't it?  So, the "Saloon Girl Junior Tween Costume" is by definition an outfit designed to make a girl look like an old-timey child prostitute.  If you happen to be in-between prison sentences and are in the market for something like this for the kid you keep locked in your attic, you can find one at Spirit Halloween supplies. FYI.

Seriously, Though, Rape is Hilarious!

Yesterday when I wrote the post about changing the definition of rape, I decided to Google the word "rape" and hit the images button.  Yeah, I know.  That was dumb.  It got me looking at some of the shitty rape memes.  I'll grudgingly admit that some memes do strike me as pretty funny (Conspiracy Keanu, Ancient Aliens, Good Guy Greg, Ordinary Muslim Man).  But memes also seem to pull for some of the worst in humanity.  The racists, sexists and plain old pervs seem to have no problem revealing their true stripes anonymously online, under the guise of "humor."   Here are some not-so-witty versions of demotivational posters. 

This is from the hallowed halls of ebaums's world. 

No, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't, Cletus.  If you wanted to make a joke about this photo, you should focus on the shirtless, Robin Hood-booted, acid-washed jean wearing fool in the background.  Rape is usually one of the last things you want to go for when you are trying to be funny.


Here's a master work that combines sexism with particularly disgusting racism.  Really?

You are all rockin' the flip-phones, though!

Here's one that pokes fun at what we all know to be true.  Date rape isn't real rape!

Like I said, rape is hilarious!  It's a victimless crime, really.

DOTW

It is my distinct pleasure to bestow the very first DOTW honor to Pennsylvania attorney, Karl Rominger. 

Rominger is representing Jerry Sandusky.  In a recent interview, Rominger explained Sandusky's presence in the showers with young men as follows:

“Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.”

Here is video of the interview at The Blaze:  Rominger Interview.

Perhaps these troubled youth were also struggling to understand the definitions of  "pedophilia," "fellatio," and "sodomy" as well.  One could argue that Sandusky was merely helping them to broaden their sadly lacking vocabularies by showing them what the words meant. 

Congrats, Karl!  I sure hope the money is worth it.

T and A PSA

I'm not sure if I can play along with this one.  Check out these "public service announcements"  <<nudge-nudge, wink-wink>> brought to you by Mozambique.

Apparently the text (as if anyone is going to read it) says: "When we talk about breast cancer, there's no women or superwomen. Everybody has to do the self-examination monthly. Fight with us against the enemy and, when in doubt, talk with your doctor."

I can't.  I refuse to even pretend to believe that these ads might have made for the benefit of women.    It would have been more honest if these were ads for testicular self-examination.

Put on some pants, Grandpa!

UGH.  This just makes me crazy.  Check out the photo of this nasty old man.

Apparently, US airways let this guy fly in his snazzy little outfit.  What-the-hell?  You know what, there are people who legitimately have gender identity disorder.  It's like a birth defect where their body and brain do not match.  It's a real thing, and it would be incredibly horrible.  If I woke up tomorrow with a peen I would freak the hell out.  That's what it's like to have gender identity disorder.  These people are not weirdos, and they don't try to fly on airplanes dressed like Joe Biden crossed with Tila Tequila.

This outfit is not appropriate for a woman to fly in.  I would complain if Heidi Klum tried to get on an airplane in that outfit (although probably I'd be more focused on how god-awful tacky it is).  Put some friggin' clothes on, homie.

Let's make it clear that I would never attempt to diagnose someone I have not met or am not caring for.   That being said, you know who wants to get on an airplane looking like a whore?  People who want attention.  People who get off on attention.  This nasty ass old man most likely found the experience powerfully arousing.  That disgusts me.  There are kids at airports.  Sometimes my kids are at airports.  I don't want them involuntarily getting sucked into your transvestic fetish fantasies.

ALSO, this makes people think that gay people and people with gender identity disorder are perverts.  They are not.  I bet you anything this old fucker is straight.   Ugh.

I'm Going With "None of the Above"

I was just watching this really stupid documentary on NatGeo called When Aliens Attack.  It is basically about how humanity would react if Earth was invaded by a hostile alien force.  To summarize in one sentence: In order to survive we'd have to go low-tech, kamikaze guerilla on those robot mother-fuckers.  I'm down with that.

Anyway, in the middle of the show there were a few sentences that kind of freaked me out.  In a very matter-of-fact way the narrator said that all women of child bearing age would need to be kept pregnant almost continuously  in order to maintain the human population.  They went on to say that this would require the use of fertility drugs and multiple partners.  They then panned from a pregnant woman to a group of grungy-looking skinny dudes standing around outside a tent. 

I'm going to assume that this particular piece of the script was inspired by some nerd's favorite masturbatory material, but give me a freakin' break.    You're telling me that my choice is between being vaporized by a giant laser or being continuously impregnated by a bunch of strangers with sub-par personal hygiene while living in a tent in the middle of BFE?  I gotta admit that the laser sounds like a quick and easy way to go. 

Sorry, humanity.   You're going to have to count me out on this one.

Speaking of Toddlers and Tiaras...

 This is fabulous!  Where can you buy these?  My daughter is almost FIVE and doesn't have one.  Mia is only two, and she is rocking it. 

Her mom got her this outfit so she could dance to Like a Virgin.  No, I'm serious.  Isn't that cuuuute?  I'm guessing that Vogue Paris has already placed a call to this family for a photo shoot.