Barenaked ladies

Plus Model magazine ran an intentionally controversial pictorial in their January 2012 issue titled "What's Wrong with Our Bodies Anyway?"  The pictorial is designed to elicit shock and raise questions for the viewer.  Most of the images are gorgeous.  Here are two of the most lovely:

Katya Zharkova

 

Then there were two images that featured the plus-sized model alongside a so-called "straight-sized" model.  I'm not sure what I think about these.  They do highlight just how pre-adolescent and tiny the smaller model looks.  However, I'm not sure how I feel about comparing women's bodies in this way.  I also can't help but note the faux lesbianism in the posing, and the fact that the smaller model has her face completely obscured in each photo, which is a form of objectification.  These things strike me as a bit unnecessary, possibly creepy, and ultimately distracting from the points they were trying to make.  The photos below lack the joy of the ones above.  What do you think?  Progress or not?

(View the full pictorial here: PMM Pictorial)

One Sexy Beaver

If you ever find yourself in Lewis, New York be sure to check out Betty Beaver's Truck Stop and Diner.  They deserve your patronage for the sheer art that is their sign.  I bet they had to pay extra to make it 3D, but it was worth it.  That is one sexy beaver!

jtwoo.blogspot.com/

T and A PSA

I'm not sure if I can play along with this one.  Check out these "public service announcements"  <<nudge-nudge, wink-wink>> brought to you by Mozambique.

Apparently the text (as if anyone is going to read it) says: "When we talk about breast cancer, there's no women or superwomen. Everybody has to do the self-examination monthly. Fight with us against the enemy and, when in doubt, talk with your doctor."

I can't.  I refuse to even pretend to believe that these ads might have made for the benefit of women.    It would have been more honest if these were ads for testicular self-examination.

Toilet Tissue Couture

Have you ever been to a bridal shower and played that awful game where you make a bridal dress out of a roll of toilet paper?  No?  Wow, you must run with a classier group of friends.  Anyway, White Cashmere is a Canadian toilet paper company that sponsored some kind of contest for designers to make gowns completely out of their toilet paper. Proceeds from the fashion show benefited the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. 

These are made entirely from toilet paper.  I'm going to assume that they had access to bigger sheets of it than what you get on a standard roll, but I am still amazed.  

 

Apparently this is made of hundreds of little rosettes of toilet paper. 

Aren't you proud of me?  The combination of Canadians and toilet paper could have made for all sorts of smart-assery on my part, but I resisted. 

Sexy, sexy breast cancer?

I came across this ad in the latest issue of the Oprah Magazine.  It's by Estée Lauder.  I don't have a problem with the toplessness.  Ain't nothing wrong with breasts.  The problem is the way that this is photographed and posed.  It's a great example of objectification.  The women are just breasts and lips, eyes cropped out, anonymous.  There is also the implied sexuality that I would definitely label as faux lesbianism.

It almost looks like somebody ran out of time and had to really quickly photoshop the cover for a high-budget porn into a breast cancer ad. 

Plus, I gotta tell you that I'm not lovin' the lipstick.  Yeah, I know it's breast-cancer-awareness pink, but it's not working for all of those ladies.

The breast cancer awareness ads below also use topless women, but manage to come off entirely different.  Less creepy, less generic.

This is from the Look After Your Boobies campaign.

 

This is also by Estée Lauder.  It's not only more tasteful, but makes a bigger impact.

This also crops the woman's face out, reducing her to body parts.  Yet the message is entirely different. 

Gaze Into My Crystal Ball

 This morning it was informally announced that Republican Michele Bachmann intends to run for president.  Get ready, ladies and gents!  There is nothing that stirs the pot quite like a lady gettin' uppity and trying to do a man's job!

Do you remember how Clinton and Palin were covered by the media?  Clinton wore pantsuits and short cropped hair, and was portrayed as masculine, cold, and ball-busting.  Then when she wore a slightly low-cut blouse, it sparked Cleavagegate.  Relive the glory of the article that sparked the controversy here:  Clinton's Cleavage Covered by Washington Post.

People were acting like she went on the floor of congress dressed like JWOWW.   BTW, what in the hell kind of name is JWOWW, and why is it taking up valuable real estate in my brain?  I need a minute to get over my disgust, and possibly take some prophylactic valtrex.

 Go ahead, try to deny the similarity.

 Palin was feminine and pretty, and widely criticized for being stupid.  Do you remember all that fuss over how much  money the GOP spend on her wardrobe for the campaign trail?  Or how she was a bad mother?  Or people making fun of her for having been a beauty queen?   Okay, I gotta give them that one.  You know how I love pageants!

How exactly could a woman dress or groom herself in order to avoid beauty criticism?  Where exactly is that line between cold, calculating, butchy hag and stupid, slutty, beauty queen? 

You don't have to be Madam Ruby to see where this is going.   Bachmann is pretty, so we can count on the hounds to go after her for being ditzy, a pawn of men in higher positions, using botox (you know that's coming), and possibly being some kind of a slut.  Instead of going after her femininity, wouldn't it be great if people could focus on her policies?

Plus Sized Pin Up Girls

This is something that makes me happy!  Les Toil is an artist who specializes in pin-up girls.  However, he's a little bit of an oddball.  He only does pin ups of plus-sized women.   Yes, you read that right.  He makes his living doing custom pin up girls, and here is a quote from his website for those interested in having one done:

"The qualifications for being a Toil Girl are quite simple actually. First and foremost, you must not be skinny. Here at the ToilTime Studios™ we believe an ample anatomy is the most desired and aesthetically pleasing an artist's model can have--and art history backs up that claim. The more curves the better, basically. So if you see Ally McBeal in the reflection of your mirror, consider yourself an unfit specimen (but, by absolutely no means, a lesser specimen. Being critical of one's proportions--be they vast or narrow--is something Mr. Toil frowns upon)."

It's strange to see big women portrayed as beautiful, and even sexy.  I love his website, and can get lost in his pin up galleries. It's refreshing to see larger ladies portrayed so lovingly! Here are a few of my favorites.

If you've got some time to kill, check out his website:  http://www.toilgirls.com/   I've known about him for at least five years, and the pin up girls change every few months.
        
And yes, if I ever have an extra $350 burning a hole in my pocket, I am totally going to become a toil girl.  I'm thinking some kind of Halloween theme, maybe with a pumpkin patch...

Another Triumph for Technology (Also, Boobs!)

Do you have too much time on your hands, an iphone, and a burning desire to know you would look like with a larger pair of melons?  No?  Are you a perv, with too much time on your hands and a burning desire to play around with boobies?  Well, here's the app for you!  It's called iAugment.  You take a picture of your own torso (you know, or sneak and take a picture of one your sister's friends), and you upload it into the app.  Then you can use a simple slider for hours of jug adjusting fun.

Before you get concerned, this app was created by a female plastic surgeon.  So, clearly it's all good.  We can brush off any concerns about the normalization of body dissatisfaction.  Instead, let's chat about what in the hell is going on with the right boob in the left picture below.  Maybe the bra is just winking at us.

Winking all the way to the bank. Awww, yeah!

Lighten up! Kidnapping women and beating them is FUN!

Oh, video game nerds.  What are we going to do with you?  I know that most of you don't have friends at school, and have never actually seen boobs in real life.  Someday, through a combination of good luck and good binoculars the boob thing might actually happen, though I'm not holding my breath on the friends.  You want something to make you feel powerful, to make you feel like you are in control.  Plus, you want to see boobs. 

Well, wipe that Cheeto grime off of your hands and go get the new Duke Nuken Forever game!  You get to kidnap chicks (admittedly the only way you're probably coming anywhere near one), slap them when they resist being abducted (sometimes you just gotta slap a ho), and you get to see cartoon boobies!  There's even a simulated blow job from twins!! (You can ask your mom what that means after you get off the computer, just don't tell her you heard it from me.) 

Yay, technology!