Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day: Mangina Edition

Something tells me this is as close to getting inside of a vagina as this guy has ever been.  His mom must be so proud.

A discrete, fashion-forward solution for your feminine needs

Here's another tool to improve your sexual health from the good Dr. Leonard's catalog.  The description below the photo says:  "This rose ring is a wearable tickler massager, sure to start a buzz...Discreet.."  Discreet?!  It looks like you have an uncircumcised lil' smokie shoved in that thing!   

I'll give you a dolla' if you wear one in public, though.

T and A PSA

I'm not sure if I can play along with this one.  Check out these "public service announcements"  <<nudge-nudge, wink-wink>> brought to you by Mozambique.

Apparently the text (as if anyone is going to read it) says: "When we talk about breast cancer, there's no women or superwomen. Everybody has to do the self-examination monthly. Fight with us against the enemy and, when in doubt, talk with your doctor."

I can't.  I refuse to even pretend to believe that these ads might have made for the benefit of women.    It would have been more honest if these were ads for testicular self-examination.

Hide yo' kids

Ever wonder what is most appropriate to wear when you are jetting around the world and adopting adorable foreign toddlers?  It keeps me up at night sometimes.  I mean, if it's before labor day here, but you're going to be south of the equator, can you still wear white?  What about your shoes and bag, can they be the same color or do Ecuadorians think that's too matchy-matchy?

Anyway, I was flipping through the latest Garnet Hill catalog this afternoon and came across the Jolie jersey dress, accompanied by this hilarious picture.  I'm sure that it's a total coincidence that the dress is named Jolie and the model seems to be blithely abducting that cute little girl.  The little girls is like, "Who is this blond bitch?  I thought I was going to meet Brad Pitt." 

 

Llama in the background: "Girl puh-lease.  Leg warmers and calf-high boots?"

Three feet should be the minimum, really.

I found this beauty in a little shop in Montana.  I was walking by and I couldn't help but notice the oh-so-subtle double entendre.  I told the shop owner that I collect pin-up girls, which is technically true, and he was kind enough to let me take a picture.  In all fairness,  it was an actual meat market.