Monday, May 9, 2011

Lighten up! Kidnapping women and beating them is FUN!

Oh, video game nerds.  What are we going to do with you?  I know that most of you don't have friends at school, and have never actually seen boobs in real life.  Someday, through a combination of good luck and good binoculars the boob thing might actually happen, though I'm not holding my breath on the friends.  You want something to make you feel powerful, to make you feel like you are in control.  Plus, you want to see boobs. 

Well, wipe that Cheeto grime off of your hands and go get the new Duke Nuken Forever game!  You get to kidnap chicks (admittedly the only way you're probably coming anywhere near one), slap them when they resist being abducted (sometimes you just gotta slap a ho), and you get to see cartoon boobies!  There's even a simulated blow job from twins!! (You can ask your mom what that means after you get off the computer, just don't tell her you heard it from me.) 

Yay, technology!

Posted by Contrary G at 11:25 AM
Labels:

1 comment:

  1. leoeleJune 24, 2011 at 2:23 AM

    You know, not all guys that play video games are into this sort of thing. Especially when you consider that the game you highlighted here got miserable reviews. Check Metacritic. The best score of the three versions (xbox, playstation and PC) was a 55/100. It's unfortunate that people like you end up giving such a poor game more press than it actually deserves, thereby doing exactly the opposite of what you initially intended. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)