How badass is that?

Uterus belt buckle by Meckanism on Etsty.

While perusing etsy I came across this super-cool belt-buckle.   It is sadly no longer available.  I can't say I'd actually wear it, but I think that if I had some kind of badass, feminist, super-hero alter-ego I would rock it hard. 

Now what I really want is a little bronze uterus to hang off the back of my pick-up truck.  Once I find it, I'll have to buy a pick-up truck, but it will be worth it!

Beach Body Battle?

Dear Fox News,
I'm willing to cut you some slack for being right-leaning.  It's not like everyone is unaware of it despite how much you claim to be unbiased.  But do you really need to have bikini girl articles?  Last time I checked we lived in a world where there was a shit-tastic economy, an upcoming presidential election, the ongoing war on terror, escalating tension with Iran, and worries about the new ruler of North Korea.  Are you really so hard up for material that you need to come up with utter crap like this?  Hell, if you just needed to fill space you could publish an articles about Beyonce's new baby or whatever the hell Lady Gaga wore yesterday.  Instead we get an article that pits two women against one another in an imaginary battle over who is more attractive.  It's so offensive and unnecessary.  Not to mention the fact that the under-side-boob combo is not doing Christina any favors.  I just want her to reach in there and adjust that thing.  Girl, if it don't lift, don't wear it!  And as for you, Fox News, stick to the news, buttholes!

Seriously, Though, Rape is Hilarious!

Yesterday when I wrote the post about changing the definition of rape, I decided to Google the word "rape" and hit the images button.  Yeah, I know.  That was dumb.  It got me looking at some of the shitty rape memes.  I'll grudgingly admit that some memes do strike me as pretty funny (Conspiracy Keanu, Ancient Aliens, Good Guy Greg, Ordinary Muslim Man).  But memes also seem to pull for some of the worst in humanity.  The racists, sexists and plain old pervs seem to have no problem revealing their true stripes anonymously online, under the guise of "humor."   Here are some not-so-witty versions of demotivational posters. 

This is from the hallowed halls of ebaums's world. 

No, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't, Cletus.  If you wanted to make a joke about this photo, you should focus on the shirtless, Robin Hood-booted, acid-washed jean wearing fool in the background.  Rape is usually one of the last things you want to go for when you are trying to be funny.


Here's a master work that combines sexism with particularly disgusting racism.  Really?

You are all rockin' the flip-phones, though!

Here's one that pokes fun at what we all know to be true.  Date rape isn't real rape!

Like I said, rape is hilarious!  It's a victimless crime, really.

Dr. Leonard's Freaktastical Catalog for Old People

Have you ever had the pleasure of reading through Dr. Leonard's Catalog?  If you haven't I highly recommend getting on their mailing list.  Their target demographic seems to be people who are elderly, incontinent, mobility impaired, and also very, very horny.

It is your one-stop shop for plastic underpants, bunion regulators (regulate that bunion!),  and sweaters for your dog.

They also have motion sensor owls (take that, you sneaky criminals and Jehovah's witnesses!) and strapless, ruffled terry cloth rompers (always in fashion!).

I bet what you really need is a bug-zapper racket and a hernia support.  Am I right?  Well, Dr. Leonard has your ass covered.  

They even have large print Bibles and the Complete Life of Jesus on DVD.

Oh, and did I mention the large selection of freak-nasty sex toys?  I'm not going to screencap the vibrators, dildos and other unmentionables with names like the 10-Function Bendie, Pearl Dreams Massager,  Creme de la Femme and the grammatically questionable Me Clitoral Stimulating Gel (click at your own risk:  Dr. Leonard's).  But the real stand out product for me is the Totally Nude Yoga and Tai Chi video.

Nude tai chi?  Have you ever seen anyone doing tai chi?

  Have you ever thought, Man I wish I could see those people naked? Oh, you have?  Well, let me direct you to Dr. Leonard's Catalog.  I'm told it's America's leading resource for health products.

What is a rape?

This week the FBI announced that it is changing the definition used to define rape for the compilation of crime statistics. The FBI has been using the same definition since the 1920s.  It defined rape as: “The carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.”    This definition essentially means that an act is only rape if it involves vaginal penetration and if there is physical force. So, if the victim is only threatened verbally it was not counted as rape.  If there is force, but the penetration is not vaginal, it was not counted as rape.  If the victim was male, it was not counted as rape. 

Obviously there were some serious problems with this old-school definition.  Why should we care?  A shocking percentage of American women are sexually assaulted or raped.  We need to be aware of this problem in order to change it.  When the statistics more accurately report what is happening, it will hopefully translate to the creation of a safer world for our daughters and sons!

Well said...

Wait, what?

I take back everything I've ever said about my family being weird.