Mommy Makeovers!

I keep driving past this billboard on I-94 advertising "Mommy Makeovers" at The Michigan Center for Cosmetic Surgery.  I've been mildly irritated by it, and since I can't let things go I decided to google it.

Here is the text and (jubilant! triumphant! victorious!) photo  from the website:

"Becoming a Mommy is one of life’s most rewarding and fulfilling experiences. Past generations believed that this simply meant making sacrifices in your appearance. They observed that the combined effects of childbearing, nursing, lost sleep, aging, and changing metabolism took a distinctive and predictable toll on a woman’s body.
Today women have another option!… A Mommy Makeover!… This is custom tailored to correct, and reverse unwanted changes that have occurred in your body. It helps restore your body to a more vigorous and youthful appearance."

Well. Hmph.

I guess I can stop being mildly irritated.  It is true that the rigors of motherhood and the horrors of aging do make it hard to adhere to our culture's size zero, airbrushed beauty norm.  The website says the surgeons can correct  these changes.  I mean, if it's something that requires correction clearly it's something wrong with me...  There's no chance that the perpetuation of unrealistic standards for female appearance might be desirable so that some people can profit off of them right?  Haha!  No way.  Definitely not these good doctors with the bikini ladies on their website...  I'm scheduling an appointment ASAP. 

Maybe they can also makeover my attitude.

Remarkable Images from the Great Depression

This photo is titled: "Operating a hand drill at Vultee-Nashville, a woman works on a "Vengeance" dive bomber, Tennessee (1943)"

"Corpus Christi, Texas. Wife of a disabled World War I veteran, Mrs. Cora Ann Bowen (left) works as a cowler at the Naval Air Base."

"Jack Whinery, homesteader, and his family, Pie Town, New Mexico. (1940)"   Wow. The image on the calendar behind the mother makes for a really striking contrast.

The images above are from a really remarkable group of color photos from the Great Depression.  It is definitely worth a look.   It's at the Huffington Post.  I know, I know. Anyway, here is the link: Rare Color Photos From the Great Depression

I got inspired and searched out a few more similar images.  I'm glad I did.  These are from the Library of Congress.

This is probably my favorite.  It is gorgeous and speaks volumes. It is from the Library of Congress and was taken in 1943.  It is titled: "Operating a hand drill at Vultee-Nashville, woman is working on a "Vengeance" dive bomber, Tennessee."

"Woman aircraft worker, Vega Aircraft Corporation, Burbank, Calif. Shown checking electrical assemblies."  June 1942.  Beautiful on so many levels.

Doin' it right, doin' it wrong

Despite all of my complaining, I actually do love fashion.  How can you not adore this gorgeousness?  It is Charlotte Rampling in V magazine.  She is almost exactly twice my age and is rocking that hell out of that couture.   I want to be her when I grow up.


Compare the loveliness above to this mess (from the same issue):

I'm not even going to touch this from a feminist perspective.  You can be sexy.  You can be older than 50 or 60 or 70 and be sexy.  Quite possibly you can even be Jane Fonda and be sexy.  However, this is not how it is done.

The perfect Christmas gift!

I found this little gem while doing some Christmas shopping online on Black Friday.  It is rated age ten and up, but I think a girl can never be too young to learn how to self-objectify and live her life for a man.

According to Amazon fun features of this game include:

• Put on your coolest outfit and make up then dance the night away
• An active life is a healthy life and have fun working out with your friends
• Meet up with your best friends to catch up on the latest fashions and hot gossip
• Enjoy this fun time with a lot of flirting relaxing and fun waiting for you

Sounds fun!  I'm glad there is a focus on working out and dressing appropriately.  I only hope there is a really fun dieting activity.  

Who says the feminist movement is dead?

Bridal Plasty

I'm super-excited about the new show debuting on E!  It's called Bridal Plasty.  The website for the show describes it as such:  "Brides-to-be compete in challenges to earn plastic-surgery procedures in a quest to win their ultimate dream wedding." 

Well, damn.  It's too bad that I got married ten years too early to have my cellulite, pock-marks and otherwise disgustingly natural bodily features snarkily commented on and circled with a sharpie by some misogynist plastic surgeon on national television.

In the first challenge the poor, grossly disfigured brides compete to win procedures at an injectables party.  An injectables party!   Why don't I ever get invited to anything fun like that?

In other news, I'm nominating Kendra Wilkinson to be the next president of the National Organization for Women. 

One massive butt with a side of cherry pie

Bitch, please.  Harper's Bazaar never fails to piss me off.  In July, they did a feature on Serena Williams.  You know, one of the most amazing female athletes alive?  Well, Bazaar was kind enough to fill us in on her biggest accomplishment in life.  Guess what it is?  No, no, it's not winning any silly championships or being a world-class athlete.  It's losing weight, of course!  The headline accompanying the article actually reads: She's won 26 Grand Slam titles, but the tennis champion's new body is her biggest victory yet.

Really?  Because if her biggest victory is fitting into a smaller dress size, something about our world is seriously messed up.  You can read all of the fascinating details about how she feels about her weakness for cherry pie (gasp) and her "massive butt" (anyone ever heard of muscle?) on the Harper's website. 

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/fashion-articles/serena-williams-body-0810

Three feet should be the minimum, really.

I found this beauty in a little shop in Montana.  I was walking by and I couldn't help but notice the oh-so-subtle double entendre.  I told the shop owner that I collect pin-up girls, which is technically true, and he was kind enough to let me take a picture.  In all fairness,  it was an actual meat market.