Merry Christmas!

I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas! Now get off of the internet and go eat some pie!

Fun clothes for kids

There are still a few days left to buy gifts for Christmas, and I have a couple of great suggestions.
The first is for that baby girl in your life. 

Isn't that a hoot?  I think that women's insecurities about their bodies are totally hilarious.  How awesome is it to jokingly insinuate that even babies have so-called normative discontent about their body size? 

Apparently the NOW is filing complaints against Hooters because they are an adult establishment that markets itself to children.  There is some controversy over whether Hooters is a sexualized environment.  I don't think there is any debate about whether it is trashier than hell. 

In any case, part of the brouhaha was about some t-shirts sold for children that said "Future Hooters Girl."  Sadly, those are no longer available on the website, so your toddler will have to settle for the classic tee above.

As an aside, I was talking to the owner of my daycare last week.  I mentioned that we were going out of town and she was excited to hear that we were going to the state where her daughter attends college.  She said: "You know that Hooters right off of 70, past Mid-Rivers Mall?  My daughter works there!"    Uhhh...
What's the appropriate response to that?

Road trip!

I'll be largely out of touch for the next few days as I'll be traveling.  I certainly won't be going in style quite like these ladies!   I'll post more soon!

"The Princess and the Tomboy"

This is a few weeks old, but it's a dandy.

Okay girls, we all need to choose sides.   Remember, there are only two choices.  Do you love pink?  Does Mommy let you traipse around in high heels? Are you a spoiled, manipulative brat?  Congratulations, you are a Pretty-Pretty Princess!  

Do you like to wear pants?   Are you failing to internalize gender stereotypes?  Are there concerns you  might grow up to be a serial killer? You're a Tomboy!

This strikes me as one step away from declaring these girls are butch and femme.  It also bugs me that the tomboy role is pathologized, and the princess role is described as vain and devious.  Even at age four there is a double-bind. You're damned if you're a princess and damned if you're a tomboy.  It starts early.

As an aside, why do magazines aimed at adults have small children on their covers? They didn't choose to be celebrities, and I think it's creepy as hell that they are followed by paparazzi and that they apparently can sell magazines by being on the cover.  I can't help but imagine some lecherous old man with a collection of these magazines.  Blech.

Pre-Winter Blahs

I hate this time of year.  It is like some sick joke that it is still officially Fall, and it is so damned cold outside.  I'm in the mood for some summery, vintage fun! 

These gorgeous ladies are the winners of some sort of bathing suit contest.  Suck it, Miss America!  This is how a bathing suit competition is done! 

How cute is she?  If Tim Burton was styling a photo shoot on the beach in the 1920s, I think it would look a little something like this.  I love all of her coordinating black and white stripes.  Work it, girl!

 

This is Miss Fritzi Ridgeway in 1924.  I like her attitude.  There might be snow on the ground, but if you have a hankering to rock that swimsuit, you should do it!

Little girls in big girl clothes

Elle Fanning, age 12, at the Venice film festival. 

Several websites commented on this dress as being both fun and age-appropriate. Yes, it would be totally age appropriate if she had on a pair of pants underneath that dress.  The girl is twelve.  Twelve!  Does she really need hooker heels and an up-to-there skirt?  I'm voting no.   

Yes, there are many worse things out there that I could pick to bitch about.  But when this outfit is lauded for being age appropriate, I think something has gone awry.  How about we protect girls instead of sexualizing them, mmmmkay?

Boobies and Breast Health

This is the cover of Wired magazine this month, and some of the images from the inside of the issue.

Earlier today, I was in line at the grocery store.  I always pick the wrong line.  Today, I was behind some forty year-old nerd and his momma.  Instead of loading their groceries onto the belt in a quasi-efficient manner,  they were engrossed in a loud and grammatically questionable argument about the ratio of Snapple to Coca Cola being purchased.  The particular flavor of Snapple seemed to be a point of contention.

In any case, I was stuck staring at the magazines for a while.  The issue of Wired jumped out at me, since  it was practically shouting "Boobs, BOOBS, BOOBS, BOOOOBIES!"   I tried to ignore it, but then it started to shout "Tits, Titties, TITTTAYS!" in the voice of Eric Cartman.  I decided to respect its authoritah, so I picked it up and gave it a quick read.

There are several things I found striking.  One was that this issue was out in plain sight, while the cover of Cosmo was obscured behind one of those magazine cover shields.  The woman on the cover of Cosmo this month even had some clothes on. Huh.  I bet someone at Cosmo lost their job over that.

What was really strange was that the article in Wired was not offensive at all.  It was actually quite interesting.   It described breakthroughs in the use of stem cells to reconstruct breast tissue for women who have had mastectomies  (Breasts and Regenerative Medicine).

So, WTF, Wired?  There is a big mismatch between the content of the article and the imagery accompanying it.   Do we really have to use porny imagery to accompany an article about breakthroughs in breast health?   Can we count on you to run a similar cover if there is a major breakthrough in testicular cancer?

Yeah, I know.  The testicular cancer cover wouldn't sell many copies, and it would probably frighten small children, little old ladies, and pretty much everyone else. 

I have no doubt that the provocative cover caused more people to read a good, largely pro-woman article.  I still don't love it.   Thoughts?

Mommy Makeovers!

I keep driving past this billboard on I-94 advertising "Mommy Makeovers" at The Michigan Center for Cosmetic Surgery.  I've been mildly irritated by it, and since I can't let things go I decided to google it.

Here is the text and (jubilant! triumphant! victorious!) photo  from the website:

"Becoming a Mommy is one of life’s most rewarding and fulfilling experiences. Past generations believed that this simply meant making sacrifices in your appearance. They observed that the combined effects of childbearing, nursing, lost sleep, aging, and changing metabolism took a distinctive and predictable toll on a woman’s body.
Today women have another option!… A Mommy Makeover!… This is custom tailored to correct, and reverse unwanted changes that have occurred in your body. It helps restore your body to a more vigorous and youthful appearance."

Well. Hmph.

I guess I can stop being mildly irritated.  It is true that the rigors of motherhood and the horrors of aging do make it hard to adhere to our culture's size zero, airbrushed beauty norm.  The website says the surgeons can correct  these changes.  I mean, if it's something that requires correction clearly it's something wrong with me...  There's no chance that the perpetuation of unrealistic standards for female appearance might be desirable so that some people can profit off of them right?  Haha!  No way.  Definitely not these good doctors with the bikini ladies on their website...  I'm scheduling an appointment ASAP. 

Maybe they can also makeover my attitude.

Remarkable Images from the Great Depression

This photo is titled: "Operating a hand drill at Vultee-Nashville, a woman works on a "Vengeance" dive bomber, Tennessee (1943)"

"Corpus Christi, Texas. Wife of a disabled World War I veteran, Mrs. Cora Ann Bowen (left) works as a cowler at the Naval Air Base."

"Jack Whinery, homesteader, and his family, Pie Town, New Mexico. (1940)"   Wow. The image on the calendar behind the mother makes for a really striking contrast.

The images above are from a really remarkable group of color photos from the Great Depression.  It is definitely worth a look.   It's at the Huffington Post.  I know, I know. Anyway, here is the link: Rare Color Photos From the Great Depression

I got inspired and searched out a few more similar images.  I'm glad I did.  These are from the Library of Congress.

This is probably my favorite.  It is gorgeous and speaks volumes. It is from the Library of Congress and was taken in 1943.  It is titled: "Operating a hand drill at Vultee-Nashville, woman is working on a "Vengeance" dive bomber, Tennessee."

"Woman aircraft worker, Vega Aircraft Corporation, Burbank, Calif. Shown checking electrical assemblies."  June 1942.  Beautiful on so many levels.

Doin' it right, doin' it wrong

Despite all of my complaining, I actually do love fashion.  How can you not adore this gorgeousness?  It is Charlotte Rampling in V magazine.  She is almost exactly twice my age and is rocking that hell out of that couture.   I want to be her when I grow up.


Compare the loveliness above to this mess (from the same issue):

I'm not even going to touch this from a feminist perspective.  You can be sexy.  You can be older than 50 or 60 or 70 and be sexy.  Quite possibly you can even be Jane Fonda and be sexy.  However, this is not how it is done.

The perfect Christmas gift!

I found this little gem while doing some Christmas shopping online on Black Friday.  It is rated age ten and up, but I think a girl can never be too young to learn how to self-objectify and live her life for a man.

According to Amazon fun features of this game include:

• Put on your coolest outfit and make up then dance the night away
• An active life is a healthy life and have fun working out with your friends
• Meet up with your best friends to catch up on the latest fashions and hot gossip
• Enjoy this fun time with a lot of flirting relaxing and fun waiting for you

Sounds fun!  I'm glad there is a focus on working out and dressing appropriately.  I only hope there is a really fun dieting activity.  

Who says the feminist movement is dead?

Bridal Plasty

I'm super-excited about the new show debuting on E!  It's called Bridal Plasty.  The website for the show describes it as such:  "Brides-to-be compete in challenges to earn plastic-surgery procedures in a quest to win their ultimate dream wedding." 

Well, damn.  It's too bad that I got married ten years too early to have my cellulite, pock-marks and otherwise disgustingly natural bodily features snarkily commented on and circled with a sharpie by some misogynist plastic surgeon on national television.

In the first challenge the poor, grossly disfigured brides compete to win procedures at an injectables party.  An injectables party!   Why don't I ever get invited to anything fun like that?

In other news, I'm nominating Kendra Wilkinson to be the next president of the National Organization for Women. 

One massive butt with a side of cherry pie

Bitch, please.  Harper's Bazaar never fails to piss me off.  In July, they did a feature on Serena Williams.  You know, one of the most amazing female athletes alive?  Well, Bazaar was kind enough to fill us in on her biggest accomplishment in life.  Guess what it is?  No, no, it's not winning any silly championships or being a world-class athlete.  It's losing weight, of course!  The headline accompanying the article actually reads: She's won 26 Grand Slam titles, but the tennis champion's new body is her biggest victory yet.

Really?  Because if her biggest victory is fitting into a smaller dress size, something about our world is seriously messed up.  You can read all of the fascinating details about how she feels about her weakness for cherry pie (gasp) and her "massive butt" (anyone ever heard of muscle?) on the Harper's website. 

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/fashion-articles/serena-williams-body-0810

Three feet should be the minimum, really.

I found this beauty in a little shop in Montana.  I was walking by and I couldn't help but notice the oh-so-subtle double entendre.  I told the shop owner that I collect pin-up girls, which is technically true, and he was kind enough to let me take a picture.  In all fairness,  it was an actual meat market.