If you could alert me to racism in a sexist way, that would be fantastic!

So, CNN.com is going to get all politically correct about Victoria's Secret fashion show possibly being racist because they used some dressed some models in stereotypical Native American undies.  Okay.  That's fine with me, but I gotta be honest.  I'm having a hard time taking your righteous politically correct indignation seriously when you refer to the models, who are grown women, as GIRLS. 

Examine thyself, fuckers.

Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day: Mangina Edition

Something tells me this is as close to getting inside of a vagina as this guy has ever been.  His mom must be so proud.

One Crazy Rule to Look Younger Now

Ugh!  I hate those frickin' ads that are trying to push some miracle pill to make you look younger.  It is total bullshit.   Is the one rule to stop bein' a crack ho?  Because this shiz is looking like Faces of Meth in reverse.

Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day: Too short, too short, and still too short

Hey look, it's Goldilocks!  It turns out that my parents told me the lame-ass, g-rated version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears when I was a kid.  It was all about eating porridge, and taking a nap.  I missed the part where there was sexy time. 

I even thought the bears were actual bears. You know, like live-in-a -cave-and-catch-salmon-swimming-upstream bears.  

How wrong I was.

In any case, check out this Goldilock's costume for girls.The one on top is clearly supposed to be sexy.  This one is almost identical to the costume above, but it only comes in girl's sizes.  It's not even in juniors sizes, just girls.  Why?  Would another foot of fabric on the bottom of the skirt ruin the costume?  Would people say, "Geez, I didn't realize you were Goldilocks.  Why isn't your arse hanging out?  Where are your hooker heels? Kids these days have no respect for the classics." 

Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day: Old West Hooker Girl!

Clearly I am missing something.  Maybe I am not smart enough to figure out the vocabulary words being used to describe this Halloween costume.    The word tween means in someone who is between a child and a teenager, right?  So, I'm thinking like 10, 11 or 12 year-olds.  Am I totally off base with this?

Now, a saloon girl is an old west prostitute, isn't it?  So, the "Saloon Girl Junior Tween Costume" is by definition an outfit designed to make a girl look like an old-timey child prostitute.  If you happen to be in-between prison sentences and are in the market for something like this for the kid you keep locked in your attic, you can find one at Spirit Halloween supplies. FYI.

The Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day Game: Schoolgirl or Stripper!

Let's play a game!  I'm going to show you two costumes currently for sale online.  One is designed and sold as a stripper costume.  The other is marketed as a costume for teens or tweens.  You figure out which one is which.

ROUND ONE:  ALICE IN WONDERLAND

ROUND TWO:  LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

Answers on the next page!

Slutty Halloween Costume of the Day: Fishnets and Cuffs

For your consideration I submit these ultra-realistic portrayals of women on the police force.   This one has all of the details of a real policewoman, from the mini-skirt, to the fishnet stockings, calf-high boots, fingerless gloves and pink lipstick. 

If that one doesn't pull your trigger, how about this fake leather option?  The boots and cuffs really set it off, I think. You can get it as small as a 2T from Oriental Trading Company.

Maybe you need to call in the heavy forces.  Here is a SWAT uniform for teen girls.  Every time I have ever seen an officer in SWAT gear it has been a skirt and fishnets.  There definitely should be no body armor or weapons or anything related to being safe or fighting bad guys.  Cute little wrist cuffs are important, though.